αίσθηση
by Settiai
Summary: Bethany hadn't known what to expect when she became a Warden.


**sound.**

Bethany had been at Vigil's Keep for just shy of a fortnight when she was woken up in the middle of the night by what was either an exuberant celebration or a brawl. She honestly couldn't tell which one it was from a distance, and—from what she'd seen and heard of her fellow Wardens since arriving back in Ferelden—the odds were just as likely for it to be one as it was the other.

"What's going on?" Bethany asked, trying to stifle a yawn as she walked over to stand beside Alistair along one of the upper walls. He was staring down at the courtyard below them where several Wardens that she didn't recognize appeared to be drawing a crowd.

Considering just how late the hour was, it was a little impressive how many people seemed to be milling about down there. Not that Bethany was much in the mood to be impressed, considering she'd been in the middle of a rather sound sleep until it had gotten too loud even for her to ignore.

Alistair shot her a teasing grin. "A few of our wayward children have found their way home."

Bethany shot him an unamused look. She was aware that he was technically her commander, but sometimes he reminded her so much of her older brother that she physically ached. And after growing up with two brothers, she had learned at a young age that sometimes it was best _not_ to give any type of encouragement if she wanted a moment's peace.

Alistair rolled his eyes at her, but his annoyance was clearly for show. His mouth twitched with a barely-concealed smile too many times for him to actually be upset.

"Nathaniel Howe, Oghren, and Sigrun," he said, holding up a finger for each of them as he listed off the names. "They were some of the first Wardens to take the Joining, after the Blight ended. They've been scouting nearby entrances to the Deep Roads for the past few weeks."

Bethany nodded slowly. "I think that—" She hesitated for a second. Even though she suspected that Stroud had told Alistair about Anders being with their expedition, she wasn't certain if mentioning him by name would be the best idea. "—a Warden I met in the Free Marches may have mentioned their names once or twice."

Alistair didn't even try to hide his smile this time. "If you're talking about the Warden that I think you're talking about, I wouldn't be surprised since they took their Joinings around the same time as him," he said, turning away from the wall and heading back toward the nearby door. "I'm sure you'll meet them in the next day or two, once they recuperate from what will probably be a fairly massive hangover."

Not trying to hide her smile either, Bethany let her gaze drift back down to the courtyard. Most of the Wardens and servants milling about were focused on what was happening around them on the ground, completely unaware that she was watching from above. Only one of them—a dwarf woman it looked like, although it was difficult to tell from so high up—was actually staring up at her.

The woman on the ground raised her hand in greeting.

After a moment's hesitation, Bethany raised hers in return.

The dwarf grinned at her, wide enough that Bethany could see it despite the distance. Then a loud round of cheers sprang up, and the woman's attention was abruptly pulled back to the crowd around her.

Smiling a little to herself, although she wasn't quite certain why, Bethany turned and headed back in the direction of her room.

* * *

 **sight.**

Bethany took another sip of ale, letting her gaze drift across the crowded room. Most of her fellow Wardens were still focused on their dinners, so none of them noticed her studying them. It still seemed a bit odd to her that the Wardens seemed to be made up entirely of absolutely gorgeous men and women, but she had to admit that it wasn't all that unpleasant at times.

A few chairs down, Oghren belched.

Grimacing, Bethany took another drink and mentally subtracted the _entirely_ part of her previous thought.

"You're thinking again, aren't you?"

Startled, Bethany glanced over to her left. The last time she'd looked, Sigrun had been focused on making a dent in an almost terrifyingly large chunk of unidentifiable meat. The other woman's plate was empty now, though, and she seemed to have turned her attention toward Bethany instead.

"Is there something wrong with thinking?" Bethany asked lightly. Or, at least, she tried to ask lightly. It hadn't been quite as easy for her to put on a cheerful front ever since Stroud had all but dragged her out of the Deep Roads, and judging by Sigrun's frown Bethany suspected that she hadn't quite succeeded.

Sigrun shrugged at her. "That depends on what you're thinking about."

Bethany chewed on her lip for a second before taking another large gulp of her ale. "Do you have family, Sigrun?" she asked, pointedly changing the subject.

Judging by the way that Sigrun narrowed her eyes at her, Bethany hadn't exactly been subtle about the subject change. She didn't protest, though. She simply shrugged.

"I used to," she said matter-of-factly. "We said our goodbyes a long time ago. I was already dead when I joined the Wardens."

Bethany couldn't help but blink at that. "Already dead?" she repeated.

"I'm part of the Legion of the Dead," Sigrun said, with a hint of longer-suffering in her tone that made Bethany think that she was probably used to the question.

"Oh," Bethany said, hoping that she didn't sound quite as lost as she felt. "I didn't know that."

Since Bethany didn't know much about the Legion of the Dead other than having heard it mentioned once or twice back in Kirkwall, her answer really wasn't all that helpful. She didn't want to pester one of her senior Wardens, though, especially one as cute as Sigrun.

And the fact that she was thinking of the other woman as cute probably meant that it was time for Bethany to stop drinking ale for the night.

Sigrun gave her another one of those wide grins that Bethany had the privilege of seeing a handful of times over the past few weeks. It sent a jolt of _something_ rushing straight through her, and Bethany shifted slightly as she suddenly regretted wearing trousers instead of a loose robe.

"I think I'm calling it quits for the night before Oghren starts singing again," Sigrun said, standing up and stretching a little. "It was nice talking to you, Hawke."

Bethany flinched. She couldn't help it. "Bethany, please," she said. "Hawke is my brother."

Sigrun raised an eyebrow at that, but she didn't ask any questions. Instead, she just nodded. "Bethany then."

As Sigrun walked away, her hips swinging ever so slightly, Bethany couldn't help but let her gaze follow her until she'd disappeared through the door.

Someone slapped her on the arm with enough force to make her stagger. A few sparks flew from her fingers as she spun around to glare at Oghren, who was grinning at her unapologetically. "She's got a nice ass on her," he said, nodding conspiratorially.

Bethany felt her face turn red.

"Too bad about the legs," he continued. Bethany had the feeling he was talking more to himself than to her, but then he looked back up at her and his eyes lit up. "If the two of you decide to, uh, polish your weapons, think I could watch?"

She felt a little guilty about zapping him with lightning. Really, she did. Just a little. At least until Nathaniel and Velanna both started cheering, and Alistair had a sudden coughing fit that sounded as if he was trying desperately not to burst out laughing.

* * *

 **touch.**

"Grab my hand!" Bethany yelled, stretching herself flat on the ground and reaching her arm down as far as she could.

Sigrun stared up at her, eyes wide as she clung desperately to a small outcropping on the rock face.

Bethany still didn't know how things had gone so wrong in such a short amount of time. Everything had been perfectly normal all morning as they'd scouted the area, making their way along the winding paths that ran across the top of the cliffs that faced the Waking Sea. There had only been one brief skirmish with darkspawn earlier in the morning, a handful of hurlocks and genlocks that Velanna had taken care of singlehandedly before she, Sigrun, and Nathaniel could even react.

Nathaniel and Velanna had been further up ahead, she and Sigrun holding back a bit to watch as the two of them went through the awkward combination of flirting and arguing that the entire Keep considered a sport to watch by this point. They'd been talking about stopping for a short midday meal, since the sun was already moving past being straight overhead.

Bethany had turned toward Sigrun to say something—she didn't even remember _what_ she had been planning on saying, not anymore—and then the entire world had exploded around them.

Everything after that was a blur. Nathaniel had shouted something about Dworkin and explosives, and she vaguely remembered him sprinting off after a large, horned form that she recognized instantly after living in Kirkwall as long as she did. Bethany was fairly certain that the smaller, blurrier form chasing after him had been Velanna, but she also suspected that she might have blacked out there for a moment so she couldn't be certain.

All she knew was that, as her vision slowly started to clear, she had heard Sigrun yelling her name and hadn't seen any sign of either of their fellow Wardens. And that's how she had found herself dangling over the edge of a cliff, the Waking Sea crashing against the rock face below them, trying desperately to reach Sigrun before she lost her grip.

"I can't reach," Sigrun said, her voice surprisingly calm considering her face was drained almost white with fear. "Bethany, I can't reach."

Bethany shifted, trying to reach her hand down a little bit more. A worrying trickle of rocks broke away and fell downwards toward the sea as she moved, and she immediately stopped shifting.

Sigrun gave her one of those brilliant grins of hers, but Bethany knew her well enough to tell that it was forced. "I have to admit," Sigrun said, only a bit shakily, "when Brosca asked me to join the Wardens, she made it sound like I'd go out fighting darkspawn. She didn't mention anything about falling from cliffs."

"You're not going to fall," Bethany said instantly. She took a deep breath, focusing inward like her father had taught her all those years ago. It wasn't her strongpoint by any means, but she'd learned a little from the lessons she'd been having with Velanna.

The rocks under her shifted again, but this time she could _feel_ it. Almost as if she was a part of them herself.

"Bethany?" Sigrun asked, and her voice sounded as if it was coming from far away.

Looking back, Bethany wasn't entirely certain how she pulled it off. There was a gap in her memories that lasted at least a few minutes. All she knew was that one minute she was dangling over the cliff, reaching desperately for Sigrun even though she knew there was no way she would reach her.

The next thing she knew, she was flat on her back with Sigrun sprawled on top of her. There was blood streaming from her nose and a pounding in her head that reminded her of the one and only time she'd made the mistake of drinking something that Oghren had handed her. But both of them were back on solid ground.

Sigrun made a sound that might have been a laugh or it might have been a sob. The next thing Bethany knew, she was being pulled up into a tight hug.

Neither of them pulled away. They were still sitting there, clinging to each other, when the others finally made their way back.

* * *

 **smell.**

Bethany smelled like smoke and charred hair. Which was to be expected, all things considered. She glumly poked at her hair on the right side of her face, grimacing when she felt just how short it was thanks to Velanna's fireball.

As much as she'd like to be bitter about the loss of her hair, she knew that Velanna had probably saved her life with her well-timed spell. Bethany just wished she could have had a second longer to _duck_.

"Need some help?"

Bethany didn't jump. It took quite a bit of effort, but she'd had enough practice over the past year that she was almost used to people sneaking up on her. Instead she just shrugged, smiling as she glanced behind her. "How are you at cutting hair?"

The way that Sigrun's face lit up probably should have made her nervous. As it was, all it did was give her an almost ridiculous feeling of fondness.

Gesturing at her hair, Bethany dropped to the floor, crossing her legs in front of her. Sigrun was standing over her within seconds, carefully running her hands over the remains of Bethany's hair.

"Velanna did a number on you, didn't she?" Sigrun asked, sounding almost amused.

Bethany shrugged. "Given the choice between losing my hair or my head, I'm not really that upset."

Sigrun laughed at that. "Point taken," she agreed. "Now hold still."

Bethany wasn't quite certain how long she sat there, chunks of hair falling to the floor around her as Sigrun attempted to fix the mess that was left of it. It was almost relaxing, feeling Sigrun's hands gently playing with her hair and not actually knowing for certain what she was doing. She let her mind drift, her thoughts going back to the last letter she'd gotten from her brother back in Kirkwall.

"I think I'm done."

"Already?" Bethany asked, startled by Sigrun's sudden pronouncement. She moved enough that she could glance up to see Sigrun's face, and she was surprised to feel a bit stiff. More time must have passed than she'd realized.

Sigrun laughed. "You still think too much," she said, her eyes twinkling.

Bethany grinned back at her. "There's nothing wrong with a little thinking," she said teasingly. "I actually think a few of our fellow Wardens could stand to do a bit more of it."

"Maybe," Sigrun agreed, nodding, "but sometimes thinking will just hold you back."

"Is that so?" is what Bethany was about to ask, probably a bit more skeptically than she'd meant. She never got the chance, though. Before she could get the words out, Sigrun made it clear exactly what she'd meant.

She leaned down and kissed her.

* * *

 **taste.**

Sigrun's lips tasted like a combination of ale and berries.

"I was asleep," Bethany muttered as she reluctantly opened her eyes. She couldn't keep a little bit of amusement from making its way into her voice.

Sigrun's response was to kiss her again.

It might have been a moment, or it might have been an hour. Bethany wasn't entirely certain how much time had passed before she reluctantly broke their kiss, although judging by how swollen her lips felt she suspected it had been longer than she'd meant for it to last.

"I'm leaving for the Free Marches with Alistair in the morning," Bethany said pointedly.

Sigrun laughed against her mouth. "Why do you think I'm kissing you?"

"I _mean_ ," Bethany said, trying not to laugh, "that I should at least try to get some sleep. It's going to be a long trip."

Sigrun nodded. "A very long trip," she agreed. "That's why you should have a good memory to tide you over until you're back."

Bethany narrowed her eyes. "Sigrun—"

This time, when Sigrun kissed her, one of her hands also found its way under Bethany's sheets. Bethany chuckled, not actually breaking the kiss as she did so, and let her own hands wander as well.

Sigrun had a point. It _was_ going to be a long trip, after all.


End file.
